I'm Your Neighbor and I'm Here to Help

Preparing in an Apartment

We tend to think that compassion is what sets us apart as a species. Science has verified that elephants, crows and chimpanzees are all capable of displaying compassion to each other, providing aid in times of distress and mourning their dead. Real community starts before disaster strikes. In this post, we will touch on how to help your apartment neighbors- and when it’s okay not to- before you ever need each other.  

We encounter people daily, whether we choose to see them is another question entirely. The guy on the first floor in the wheelchair; the woman with the special needs kid next door; the couple with the adorable, though yippy dog down the hall. We may know these people in passing or casually. It’s the relationship that matters, not how we classify it. Basic courtesies go a long way in the closer quarters and shared spaces of apartment buildings.

You hold the door open for the guy in the wheelchair and allow the neighbor kid from next door to press the buttons to the elevator. In both instances, you’re showing simple consideration for others. Shared walls give you a preview into the intimate details of their lives that you may not wish to have. Respect for boundaries and simple decency dictate that you keep it moving.  

There are two different schools of thought on helping others. Helping others isn’t limited to times of disaster, and help can manifest itself in a variety of ways. Perhaps you watch the yippy dog for a few days, or you hold onto a package when a neighbor is out of town, or you pick up some groceries for the guy on the first floor. In the aftermath of a hurricane, it might not be possible or practical to share your water with the family across the street.

Equally, their ability to run to the store for a few cases is likely not an option. Other than handing over the specific resources being requested, nothing you say will be meaningful to the person in need. As you formulate your specific plans, this scenario is one you should plan for.

Again, help can materialize in a variety of ways, and a strategic option is to offer help before it’s necessary. The value here is that you get to decide how the help looks without overextending yourself. The time to build readiness, resourcefulness and resilience is before disaster strikes. Perhaps you have verified information to offer the family across the street or, you know of a store still open with water and other critical resources available and you offer a ride to the couple down the hall.

You could also mention current or upcoming sales on solar power banks, solar generators and propane-based heaters designed to be used indoors. You can also point them to some of the online resources you trust and use for information. When offering help before a disaster, you get to choose the terms and the level of engagement. There's no immediate urgency so the conversations can be kept low key. I'm a big fan of this type of interaction because you helping others, but you're showing them how to become more resilient.

The opposing school of thought is that you don’t help others. If helping others isn’t in your DNA that’s okay, too. You do what you’re able to do and the discussion ends there. Regardless of what you do, state your intentions clearly and don’t change your mind based upon their pleas. They may be legit, then again, they may not. You shouldn’t risk the safety of your family to benefit another who chose not to prepare.  

Regardless of where you live and what you do, there’s a buttinsky or two in the building. I’ve always found it easy to ignore their inquiries or, I quickly deflect the question with a harmless question or comment of my own. There are also the peepers, those who think that no one sees them as they stare through a crack in the blinds or from behind the slightly-parted curtains.

I simply carry on with my business, ignoring the attention. On very rare occasions, I’ve found that a hard stare is sufficient to quell their interest. Notice that I didn’t call them out or confront them. I’ve given you three perfectly viable alternatives to avoid conflict and confrontation: distract, deflect and ignore.     

Check on each other and if you can help, you should. Of all our defining characteristics and strengths, our true superpower as a species is our willingness to show up for each other. Doing so early is a force-multiplier. Strong communities are built on the foundation of ready, resourceful and resilient families. Neighbors helping neighbors is the cement that holds this foundation together.

Be sure to check out the following posts on building communities and how to build an urban prepping community. Don't forget to download the checklists.